Updated: Apr 18

Insecurities is defined as uncertainty or anxiety about oneself or lack of confidence. When we are insecure we find our selves not being comfortable with ourselves. We go out and buy materialistic things to fill the insecure void that we have. Whether it's extensions in our hair, makeup for our face, name brand shoes on our feet, the hottest clothing brands, jewelry, hats, and anything that you might think will help you feel better about yourself. Material things will never ever fill you, when you're empty inside, you will never have enough to be satisfied. Why waste your life worrying about if another person is getting more attention? It doesn't matter how many compliments you get on your new outfit or how many likes you have on Facebook. Insecurities are a anxiety inside yourselves that you have to fix.

Your mom, dad, friends, or any of your love ones can not fix it. You have to choose to fix yourself. I know it's not easy being a teenager, you want to be cool and have a lot of friends, and I get it because I was a teenager myself. When I was a teenager I struggled with insecurities and even as an adult. I have been skinny my whole life and I was quiet up until 8th grade. I was insecure about being skinny because guys would make fun of me, even my friends would call me skinny. I also hated my gap, my freckles, my ears, and my forehead. Things I was born with, features I got from my parents. In 6th grade I was hairy and my mom wouldn't let me shave so that added to my insecurities . All these things I struggled with, and I never told a soul. I kept it to myself. Holding it all in. That was the first mistake I made and the worst because I never told a soul, no one knew that I had issues, or that I was dealing with this on a day to day basics.

Even though I struggled with all of this as a teen and a young adult, I was still the same happy person, and helpful person, and I hid it all from everyone, even my mom, and she still doesn't know. Dealing with insecurities can turn you into a person you don't want to be, you become envious of others, wanting to look like them, and have the things they have. You become jealous of other people, and lash out in anger toward people, for no reason because you're unhappy with yourself. You become depressed with yourself and develop suicidal thoughts, thinking life isn't even worth it anymore. I became a totally different type of person. I started making fun of people and I became a nasty person to people, and the people I was hanging around, were a influence to my behavior. I would get upset with my mom when I couldn't get money to buy me things because I didn't like wearing the same outfit again.

I was horrible, when I look back at my teenage years, I let all the things I held inside from people being mean to me, and I dished it out onto others. I wasn't happy being me and I hid it very well. It was hard to overcome it because I didn't even know I had a problem. When I fully became a better person and devoted myself to God hold heartedly, I just started seeing the beauty in everyone. Everyone thinks it's funny when I say there is beauty in everyone. I look for inside beauty, not outside beauty, outside beauty will fade eventually, it's the inner beauty that truly makes you beautiful. I started focusing on loving me and all my imperfections. Even though I got braces, when I got them off I looked in the mirror, and thought to myself I miss my gap because it was unique it was me it was what I was born with. Sometimes we want to make changes to ourselves and when we do we realize that we were beautiful without changing.

I went natural in 2013 cut all my hair off, left about a inch all around, and it also made me look at myself differently. I use to always wear weaves and extensions because I hated my hair l, now I wear my hair 80% of the time. Insecurities is a you thing. I don't care what anybody tell you. You have to love yourself. Nobody can tell you how to love yourself. I started to love myself, love my body type, my fore head, my freckles, my ears my whole self, and I didn't care what nobody thought. Being insecure is not healthy for anybody around you. It can be damaging to your relationships with people you love because you start looking for them to fill you with compliments and praises for how you look. It's damaging and it can make you ill.

Choose to love yourself and don't let nobody bring you down. Lastly, if you are struggling with insecurities, talk to someone you can trust. If you are hanging with people that are picking on you, let them know how that makes you feel, and if they don't stop, quit hanging around them because that is not a good friends. Friends don't suppose to bring you down. Hang around positive people that will lift you up. Be yourself, don't let anyone try to make you change who you are.

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