Hiding Under The Umbrella

Last week I felt like I was losing it. I was physically and mentally tired. Going to school and working full time. Trying to balance my children and their schoolwork. Making time for my husband. Taking care of the house duties. Life was really weighing me down last week. It was Wednesday and I was at my son soccer practice. I was sitting in the blazing sun with my umbrella over my head crying in the inside. I felt like I failed. I told myself, I hope that none of the other parents notice me. That I can sit and just watch my son practice. Maybe if I covered myself up enough with the umbrella no one will notice that I was there. I simply blend in with the crowd, unseen. I rehearsed in my head the things I would say if a parent attempted to talk to me. Hello, I'm okay I just want to watch my son practice today or I just wanted to enjoy the fresh air in silence. I didn’t want to say those things but I wanted to be left alone. The week had been so rough and I just wanted to appreciate the moment of silence. Though there were background noise from the players and the coaches on the field. There was noise from my oldest and youngest child playing while their brother practiced. Besides all of that, there was silence. No one was arguing with each other. The children were happy. Being outside made me feel at peace. Though it was hot, I was sweating, I was tired, I appreciated the calmness of the outdoors. I just wanted to stay in that moment forever. Being a parent can be tough. Just living is tough. When life gets hard all I want to do is just hide under my umbrella and find calmness. I am a positive person and people always see me happy, rarely mad. I feel like smiling is so much easier than frowning. Though I have this attitude about life I sometimes get overwhelmed. Last week was a prime example. Maybe it was the midweek blues or the past two days had been enough to make a lady want to give up. Whatever it was I knew that I wouldn’t be defeated. What I have found about silence is that it helps you calm down and relax. It's a destresser. I needed that. It’s okay to admit that you are having a rough week. This helps you figure out how to make it better. I knew that going to my son soccer practice is a way for me to have a break from parenting and just sit still, in silence. I watched the world move around me while I sat in one place. So remember today if you are having a rough week it is okay. You will get through it. There’s nothing wrong with falling or feeling like you are going to give up. Its only wrong when you decide to not get up. You are a fighter! Don’t let a bad day or a bad week cause you to lose hope. You have been through worst battles than this. You will overcome.

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