Accepting fault

“The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them.”

-Steve Maraboli

Most people like when others are at fault, but most cannot accept their own faults. As an adult I used to struggle with this because whenever something happened in my life my automatic reaction was to blame someone else. Of course, I was not doing it on purpose it is just the normal human response. We often blame others for everything that happens to us. I’m late because the person in front of me was driving slowly. I lost my job because my manager does not like me. Each situation we face the most popular excuse involves external factors. To be honest most people don’t believe our excuses especially if that’s all we give them. You can only use the same excuse so many times before someone start to figure out your true colors.

Accepting my faults has taught me a lot. When I take ownership for my faults then I can figure out how to fix them. A friend of mine is always blaming his problems on everyone else. He is the saddest individual. Quite frankly it’s hard to be around him because he is so negative. He has that why me syndrome. Like the world is always picking on him but he doesn’t realize that most of his issue is self-inflicted. He would ask me how’s my day and I would say great then he would give me this long speech about how his life isn’t going well and everything is going wrong for him and after five minutes I excuse myself from him. I have tried to help him with his issues, but he rejects every decision I give him. Sometimes I wonder if he just likes complaining. I even have given him information on complaining and how its not good for his body, but he still has a negative attitude, so I just accept him for him.

Most people who are unable to take ownership of their faults are unable to accept advice because in their mind they are not the problem. We are our main responsibility and everything else follows. We are responsible for how our life turns out. No one has that much control over us. People only do what we allow them to do. I know you may be wondering what I mean by this but trust me it’s true. For example, if we are unhappy with our place of employment but still show up to work every day we are at fault. Why? Well though our work environment may not be pleasant we are responsible for finding a pleasant place to work. We chose to work for the company, and we can choose to leave as well. It’s that simple we can’t blame our job for making us unhappy because we are responsible for not allowing anyone to ruin our happiness.

Accepting faults is more than just saying hey I was wrong. It’s taking control of every area of your life. When I was unable to accept fault for anything in my life everything around me continue to fall apart. I didn’t realize that my attitude was ruining my well-being. I had problems but I blamed everyone else. Finally, someone told me maybe everything that is happening to me is because of me. This comment made me mad. I thought to myself how the nerve of them but once I finally evaluated my life, I realized that maybe it was. I was getting in the way of fixing my problems. Everything that happened to me was a result of my decisions. I finally started taking ownership for everything that went wrong in my life. Accepting faults made me cautious when I made decisions. I now don’t get mad at anyone when something happens as a result of poor judgment. I take it for what it is. I also feel empowered when I accept my faults because this teaches me that no one has control over my life. I am in control and if I want to change how my life is going it starts with me making that decision. No one can get in the way of my accomplishments only I can do that.

Most people find themselves stuck because they don’t want to admit that they messed up. Well its normal. We are all human. We going to make mistakes but not accepting our faults only hinders us from learning a lesson. So, as you go about your day remember you are in control of your life stop allowing others to govern how your life should be.

“One of the greatest challenges in creating a joyful, peaceful and abundant life is taking responsibility for what you do and how you do it. As long as you can blame someone else, be angry with someone else, point a finger at someone else, you are not taking responsibility for your life.”

-Iyanla Vanzant

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