In life we often want to fit in. Though we might not say it verbally from our mouth, everyone likes being accepted. Sometimes we do things to please others for acceptance. This is something that I used to struggle with when I was younger and as I gotten older it doesn’t bother me as must but some days I just want to be accepted. When I was making terrible mistakes, hanging out with the wrong people, I was accepted by them. When I decided to make better choices, limiting my time around poor environments that were an influence on my growth, I was criticized by those individuals but accepted by my new group of friends.
It’s like you’re playing a tug of war with the world struggling to become a better version of yourself but somehow, you’re never fully accepted. It’s like we can be the best person in the world, but someone will always have something negative to say. I think this puzzled me the most about people because no one likes change. We like for everyone to be the same person and when they change it is scary, so the only way people know how to react, is by showing anger, instead of acceptance.
I can recall listening to Tom Bilyeu and he said that “when we begin to strive, change, and transform and become that person we were always meant to be the people in our lives that loves us the most are often the ones that come at us accusing us of having change. Making us feel guilty for trying to become something new but at the end of the day that’s about them not you. That’s their insecurity that has been triggered; it has nothing to do with you. The life that you craft for yourself, the life that you want to live is something that should fill you with excitement and should have anything to do with what other people think.”
After hearing this I realized this is why I received so much criticism after transforming my life for the better. The criticism was never about me it was about them. Sometimes if you are doing better in life but everyone around you is struggling, they may feel insecure about their inadequacies. As a response to your success they criticize you for changing because maybe they felt like you both should be growing together. I’m the same person I always been but I just wanted more for myself, but I didn’t know that wanting more comes with possibly being criticized.
These past few years has been crazy, and I have experience ups and downs dealing with the tug of war syndrome, I now can breathe knowing that my life was meant to be for me. It was about my happiness, and not everyone else’s. I spent so much of my life trying to make everyone happy, do things to please the world, and it only left me broken. If me changing my life meant I had to lose people, I am okay with that because the only person that I don’t want to lose again is myself.
So, ask yourself today how long do you want to live trying to please others? You can spend a lifetime trying to please others, but in the end, the only person you disappoint is yourself. Today I encourage you to be strong, courageous, and go after things that you are passionate about. There are going to be people in your life that may not be supportive and that’s okay it wasn’t meant for them to understand your goals anyway. Don’t get caught up in the idea of being accepted because in life the only person you should try to please is yourself. Each day strive to make yourself proud, this is the only way to true happiness.